CATEGORY
Writing Exercise
DESCRIPTION
Make a list of problems you could have been given, but weren't.
INSTRUCTIONS
Make a list of all things that could have come your way but didn't (at least not yet!) Mental, physical, and emotional illnesses and injuries, unhealthy people or relationships (What if I'd married him/her?!), living in a past or present culture or geographic region, or a job or career that would drain your spirit.
RELATED IDEA
Make a list of your problems and frustrations, then find at least one good thing that has come from it -- perhaps useful knowledge, a new friend, personal growth, a change in your life's direction, or a chance to help someone else on their life's journey.
JOY'S JOURNEY
There have been challenging times in my life when loss and grief have overwhelmed me. There was little or nothing for which I felt grateful. If the Homes & Rahe Life Change Scale were universally predictive, I would have to be a cat with nine lives to still be alive.
As part of an appeal to the U.S. Public Health Service medical board, I had to outline the series of events that led up to my seeking counseling after my sister died (including but not limited to an alcoholic parent, their divorce, death of a close friend, date rape, and my own divorce). After I wrote it out, I re-read it to make sure it was complete. By the end of the letter, I found myself crying and thinking, "That poor woman!" I had been so caught up in surviving, that I had lost perspective on everything I'd gone through. It is easy to lose sight of how challenging our lives are -- and how much strength and courage it takes to make it through a typical day.
Most of us want to be happier and healthier, and look for external answers -- more money, more love, a different career. Most of us don't even know how to look inside of ourselves. Our society is one of activity not introspection. It takes a lot of courage to look inside ourselves. Most of us will beat ourselves up if we discover that we are unhappy because we've learned how to focus on what we don't have, or have caused our own seasickness by letting ourselves be tossed upon the waves of life. You mean I could have found my own compass, set my sail and used my rudder end up somewhere else? It's easier to blame others -- the wrong job, the wrong spouse, the wrong parents, the wrong opportunities, or the wrong set of problems. Analyzing our problems doesn't make them go away -- it only helps us understand why we're so miserable.
Ever hear the joke about the man looking for his lost keys under a street light? Someone stopped to offer him help, asking what was he looking for. He replied, "I lost my keys at the corner of 5th and Walnut Street." The good Samaritan said, "But this is 10th and Oak Street. Why are you looking here?" The man continued his search and said, "The light's better here." Our society has trained us to look where it is easiest to look -- outside of ourselves -- for the answers to our problems.
Finding joy is simple -- just remember that simple doesn't always mean easy. We need to look inside, acknowledge that we are off-course, and find our compass. We don't need answers, we need soulutions.
QUOTES
can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.
William James
Pray that you will never have to bear all
that you are able to endure.
Jewish Proverb
I know God wouldn't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much.
Mother Theresa
Dr. Joy is available to present playful workshops (playshops) at your corporate training retreat, non profit organization gathering, or club membership meetings. She is located in Denver, Colorado, and travels throughout the US to deliver Serious Fun ™ Programs for personal growth, wellness, and inspiration. Please see the program pages for details and contact information.
This playful meditation activity is COPYRIGHTED. If you are a professional trainer, coach, human resources person, counselor, or therapist it is not ethical nor legal for you to use it or share it with your clients or those you supervise/train as part of your job. See the copyright notice on the front page of this e-book. Remember, character is what you do when no one is looking. Please take the high road, and pay me appropriately to use these materials professionally, even if you work for a church, school, non-profit or the government.
© Copyright 1999-2008 by Joy Koenig. All Rights Reserved.
Graphic source: FEMA
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