CATEGORY
Writing Exercise
DESCRIPTION
Change black and white thinking to healthier shades of gray.
INSTRUCTIONS
Start with a stereotype that can be applied to you. For instance, genetically we are either male or female. How closely do you fit the stereotype of your gender? Consider positive characteristics as well as negative ones. Make a list of those that fit and those that don't fit. Next, do the same with your occupation, geographic location (southern versus northern, eastern versus western), and Myers-Briggs® personality type.
Now, choose a stereotype that doesn't apply to you, and elicits strong negative emotions -- a group or idea that makes you angry, upset, disgusted, frustrated, or anxious. List the specific traits you associate with that stereotype. Here's the fun part -- challenge yourself to think of exceptions to the stereotype. Are all the women you know focused on gossip, clothes and boyfriends? Do you know of any men who make decisions based on compassion rather than facts and logic? Do all Italians love garlic? If you can't think of any exceptions, do the RELATED IDEA activity below.
You have to be willing to suspend your belief in the universal truth of the stereotype to be able to see the exceptions, and recognize that no one has every trait of any stereotype. We are all unique individuals, painted in shades of gray as well as in all the colors of the rainbow.
RELATED IDEA
If your answer was "No" to any of questions above, write down the words you associate with the negative stereotype, then find a word that has the same essential meaning but a positive twist -- "stubborn" or "pig-headed" becomes "resilient" or "determined", "lazy" turns to "relaxed" or "easy-going", and "stupid" becomes "uneducated" or "naive". Now think of the groups and individuals you've negatively stereotyped and see what changes.
JOY'S JOURNEY
Black-and-white and all-or-nothing thinking patterns are common among children raised in dysfunctional homes. Did you throw out spirituality because you didn't like religion? Have you walked by potential business and romantic partners because they shared a few common traits with people who hurt you in the past? Generalization is a necessary human process, given the broad scope of human experiences. However, classification and stereotyping can become emotional defense mechanisms -- tricks we consciously and unconsciously use to avoid repeating painful choices. Unfortunately, it is just as painful to focus on the negative differences, and just as inaccurate to assume that each aspect of the stereotype applies to every individual in the group. Globally excluding ideas and groups of people because we don't like some of the stereotype characteristics of the group often diminishes the quality of our life. I have unknowingly thrown out people and ideas that might have been of benefit to me, and I suspect I'm not the only one who has done this. It's only with an open heart that we can see all the beautiful details and colors of the world.
QUOTES
We grow gray in our spirit long before
we grow gray in our hair.
Charles Lamb
One's mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
One of the hardest thing to do is change your mind.
Unknown
A wise man never knows all, only fools know everything.
African Proverb
Dr. Joy is available to present playful workshops (playshops) at your corporate training retreat, non profit organization gathering, or club membership meetings. She is located in Denver, Colorado, and travels throughout the US to deliver Serious Fun ™ Programs for personal growth, wellness, and inspiration. Please see the program pages for details and contact information.
This playful meditation activity is COPYRIGHTED. If you are a professional trainer, coach, human resources person, counselor, or therapist it is not ethical nor legal for you to use it or share it with your clients or those you supervise/train as part of your job. See the copyright notice on the front page of this e-book. Remember, character is what you do when no one is looking. Please take the high road, and pay me appropriately to use these materials professionally, even if you work for a church, school, non-profit or the government.
© Copyright 1999-2008 by Joy Koenig. All Rights Reserved.
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