Til Death Do We Part - Ice Cream for the Soul by Joy Koenig, MD - Personal Growth, Wellness, Healthy Lifestyle, Meditation, Inspiration

'TIL DEATH DO WE PART
CATEGORY

        Writing Exercise

DESCRIPTION

        Sign a contract to be your own best friend.

INSTRUCTIONS

        Complete DO ME WRITE in this section before starting this activity. Use your most formal hand writing, or an official looking font on your computer and design, write and sign a contract with yourself. To do so, you may need to take the time to evaluate your values and needs and then prioritize them. You may also need to explore and identify your sources of passion.

        Use this contract as a commitment to putting on your own oxygen mask first. It's the only way you can be there for others. Commit to following your dreams -- starting today. Compel yourself to look at your strengths, not just your weaknesses, and commit to using honest and accurate thinking. Officially designate yourself to be your own official cheerleader. After all, if you're not on your own side, how can you expect someone else to be? Remember, our mind, body and spirit are together "'til death do we part.

JOY'S JOURNEY

        I have been a good cheerleader most of my life, encouraging other people to see the bright side of their situation, overcome their obstacles, and embrace their gifts. It took me a long time, however, to learn how to become my own best friend. Like many of us, I internalized my parent's critical voices and became my own worst enemy. I could be compassionate and encouraging to others, but not to myself. I routinely said things to myself that I would never have said to someone I cared about, unless perhaps I was blind with anger and rage. Most of my self-talk was berating and demeaning. No wonder I had a tendency to quit.

        Through a long and sometimes painful process of facing rather than suppressing my past, I learned how to forgive myself for the mistakes I had made along the way. A lot of my anger disappeared after I understood where and how I'd let myself down as a child -- not so much a lack of performance, but a misunderstanding about the realistic capabilities of that five year old child. Releasing the self-anger made room for self-forgiveness and self-compassion, which eventually allowed me to become my own internal cheerleader.

        At first, I didn't know what to say to myself that was encouraging. Someone told me to imagine my best friend talking to me. How would she see the situation? What would she say? What words and phrases would she use? What advice would she give me? It was still difficult! I think I was afraid I'd become a conceited and arrogant person if I saw my own self-worth. Forgiving myself instead of berating myself was a new skill for me. I had to revisit the definitions of many words to remember that talking about how great you think you are is arrogant and conceited. Thinking it is simply good self-esteem. There's nothing wrong with self-acknowledgment of your own strength and wisdom. As a matter of fact, there's a great deal right with it.

        There's a saying that goes something like this, "We say what we need to hear, and teach what we need to learn." Perhaps those who spend a lot of time telling us about their greatness are simply trying to convince themselves of their inherent worth. And yes, I needed to learn how to find and see the joy in my own life.

QUOTES
Learning is finding out what you already know.
Doing is demonstrating that you know it.
Teaching is reminding others that they know
just as well as you.
Richard Bach

Dr. Joy is available to present playful workshops (playshops) at your corporate training retreat, non profit organization gathering, or club membership meetings. She is located in Denver, Colorado, and travels throughout the US to deliver Serious Fun ™ Programs for personal growth, wellness, and inspiration. Please see the program pages for details and contact information.

This playful meditation activity is COPYRIGHTED. If you are a professional trainer, coach, human resources person, counselor, or therapist it is not ethical nor legal for you to use it or share it with your clients or those you supervise/train as part of your job. See the copyright notice on the front page of this e-book. Remember, character is what you do when no one is looking. Please take the high road, and pay me appropriately to use these materials professionally, even if you work for a church, school, non-profit or the government.