Write Away - Ice Cream for the Soul by Joy Koenig, MD - Personal Growth, Wellness, Healthy Lifestyle, Meditation, Inspiration

WRITE AWAY
CATEGORY

       Writing Exercise

DESCRIPTION

       Write down what you want to eliminate, then burn it in a ceremony.

INSTRUCTIONS

        Make a list of memories, behaviors or attitudes you want to eliminate from your life. Write about it in as much detail as possible, and give your reasons for wanting to be finished with it. Write about your role in creating the event, or how you contributed to the demise of the relationship. Identify what you know now that you didn't know then. Acknowledge that you did the best you could, given the psychological tools you had at the time the event happened. Write what you learned from the relationship or experience, or how the attitude or behavior helped you. This technique can work for anger, guilt, and shame, even if the event happened a long time ago. It is also a helpful tool for releasing relationships that are not healthy for you. By releasing your tie to the person without wishing them harm, you allow for the possibility that others will release you the same way.

        Now, prepare a safe area to burn your paper. Before you set your paper on fire, say thank you for everything you learned from the experience. As you watch the paper burn, think about what new experiences you want to come into your life, and which new behaviors and attitudes would serve you now.

        Creating a ritual is very personal. Include whatever symbols hold meaning for you. Draw on your own beliefs and traditions so you feel a connection with the holiness of the space you are creating. By letting go, you make room for what will come next -- it is easier to fill a vacuum than displace something. This ritual is a way of letting the unconscious world know you are ready for a change.

JOY'S JOURNEY

        Ceremonies and rituals can be a powerful ways of moving past our regrets, our mistakes, and approaches that are no longer useful for us. Sometimes it is easier to let go of something when we make an occasion of it. By taking the time to celebrate it before releasing it, we also honor the path that we've taken, even if we now want to choose a different path.

        I got emotionally seduced into an unhealthy relationship when someone sent me the book, "Bridges of Madison County." He had included a note that said, "If you read this book, you'll understand how I feel about you." Craving someone to love me beyond reason, I'd unwittingly attracted someone into my life that needed to see himself as a martyr. Once I saw the fear-based reasons for the relationship -- my belief I was unlovable and his mistaken belief that love means denial and suffering -- I released the relationship. However, I discovered I was still attached to him through my anger. A year after our relationship ended, I sat in front of the fireplace and burned the pages of the book one by one, along with the hundreds of cards and letters he sent me over the years. By acknowledging everything I'd learned through the relationship, and leaving my anger in the pile of ashes, I was able to feel open and whole again.

QUOTES

You don't have to blow out the other fellow's light
to let your own shine.
Bernard Baruch

Any ritual is an opportunity for transformation.
Starhawk

When someone hurts your feelings, it's unimportant
unless you persist in remembering it.
Unknown

This playful meditation activity is COPYRIGHTED. If you are a professional trainer, coach, human resources person, counselor, or therapist it is not ethical nor legal for you to use it or share it with your clients or those you supervise/train as part of your job. See the copyright notice on the front page of this e-book. Remember, character is what you do when no one is looking. Please take the high road, and pay me appropriately to use these materials professionally, even if you work for a church, school, non-profit or the government.