JUST LISTEN
When I ask you to listen and you start giving advice,
you have not done what I have asked.
When I ask you to listen and you start telling me why I shouldn't feel the way I do,
it feels as if you are invalidating my feelings.
When I ask you to listen and you start trying to solve my problem,
I feel underestimated and disempowered.
When I ask you to listen and you start telling me what I need to do,
I feel offended, pressured and controlled.
When I ask you to listen, it does not mean I am helpless.
I may be faltering, depressed or discouraged, but I am not totally helpless.
When I ask you to just listen, and in addition you do things which I can and need to do for myself,
my feelings and my self-esteem are hurt.
If you could just accept that this is the way I feel, and just listen, I won't need to spend time and energy trying to defend myself to you, or to convince you that my feelings are valid.
I can go on to focus on figuring out why I feel the way I feel, and think about what I can do about it.
When I have the chance to do that, you'll find that I probably don't need the advice -- you've already given it to me in years past. All I really need is support, your trust that I can figure it out myself, and your encouragement.
Please remember that what you think may be irrational feelings might make sense to you,
if you take the time to just listen with the intention of understanding me not helping me or judging me.
Author Unknown
Life Lessons - Page 6
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