AFFIRMATIONS
Affirmations are positive statements you say to yourself (silently or out loud), that help you stay positive, and help you focus your attention on your ability to create what you want in life.
Generally, affirmations are stated in the present tense, such as "I am kind and loving." Even if you don't yet feel kind and loving -- saying that you are, rather than that you want or wish to be, helps bring the feeling of kindness and loving into the present moment, rather than holding it away as something that may happen in the future.
It took me a long time to truely appreciate the value of saying daily affirmations. Saying something that did not appear to be true right now, as if it were true right now, went against all my values of self honesty. I'd often hear an answering voice in my head countering the affirmation, "You're such a liar! That's not true!"
Then, I became a student of mind-body medicine, and began to understand just how many beliefs we hold subconsciously and unconsciously -- beliefs that impact our every day life experiences. It no longer seemed silly to me, to use my conscious mind to intentionally program my subconscious mind, through actively laying down new beliefs. I had received (and remembered) so many innacurate messages from my alcoholic mother and narcissistic father during childhood and early adulthood!
To counter the disagreeing voice in my head, I learned how to do affirmations in a stepwise fashion - first releasing the negative, then being open to receive the positive, and finally feeling the positive to be true now, even if I wasn't expressing it perfectly or consistently yet. Saying the positive actually helps me express the trait more often.
Now, I run a mental virus scan daily, looking for negative thoughts that have found their way into my belief system, and I replace them with positive ones that keep me moving forward. It takes conscious effort, but it's worth it because of the peace of mind it brings me, especially during times of sudden change or crisis.
Instructions
- Think of some area of your life you would like to change -- an area that is not working as well as you would like it to be.
- Make a positive statement about how it, or you, will be once it is working the way you'd like it to be.
- Use wording that makes the affirmation feel appropriate to you. If your first attempt prompts an answer from somewhere else in your mind that denies the truth of the statement, re-word the affirmation to give you permission to release the negative opposite of what you want.
- If you are having trouble imagining a positive reality, make a list of all the obstacles you see to creating the reality you want. Then make these into positive statements about why and how you really can manifest the life or character traits you want.
For instance, if your affirmation is "I am kind and loving" and your internal reply is "yea, right! I want to kill that #$(*%&! ", re-word the affirmation to "I release my anger easily and appropriately." Then, move on to "I am open to receiving love and kindness," and then when you feel the shift, you can move on to "I am a kind and loving person."
If you are feeling like you don't know how, or don't have the power or energy to create what you want, start with "I release hopelessness," or "I release my sense of powerlessness," and then move to "I am open to receiving hope," or "I am open to receiving an awareness of my own power," and finally to "I am hopeful," or "I am powerful."
Here's a list of generic affirmations for people raised in alcoholic homes, or by a parent who used excessive control during their childhood:
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