Like every elementary school child, I was often asked what I wanted to be when I grew-up. An innocent enough question that adults often ask children. Little did I know how much momentum my answer would gain because it got my father's attention and approval! To put things in context, I was 15 months behind twin girls. My brother naturally had the lion's share of attention from European parents, being the oldest and the only boy. The twins, of course, also got a great deal of attention. I was only the third girl, nothing overtly remarkable about me (other than my strawberry blonde hair color, which lost some of its uniqueness because one sister was a towhead blonde) -- until I answered that question in front of my father's friends.

       All I said was that I was going to follow in my father's footsteps and become a doctor. How could I have known how far off course that comment would send me, at the naive age of five or six? Every young daughter sees her father as the Center of the World, and wants his approval. Unfortunately, my father also saw himself as the Center of the World (narcissistic personality disorder), plus his medical degree had literally saved his life when he was a prisoner of war during WWII, and allowed him to transform from someone with little societal rank (migrant orange picker) to an upper middle class lifestyle (medical department director). If you're interested, you can read his autobiography under "family".

       I began very traditionally (resume) -- public health research, medical school, federal government investigator and administrator.... and then my sister died, and I began waking up to who I really am. My first steps off the path of conventional medical research & administration were toward holistic health. I found myself enrolled in massage therapy school (1993), and it was there I first learned about "issues in the tissues," and was introduced to gathering intuitive knowledge through the laying on of hands (Reiki). I also learned how much fraud and deception is embodied in the world of holistic health - - and knew I did not belong there, either. I went on to complete Harvard's clinical training in mind-body and behavioral medicine because they shared my need to blend the spiritual and unproven into the world of logic and reason that is Western medicine, in a scientifically valid and professionally ethical way. Dr. Benson offered me a position with them, but at the time I was set on leaving Boston, and so my journey back to Self began in earnest.

       It took a lot of trying on of new jobs, new locations, and new friends for me to discover who I really am without job titles or social status. It was a long, exhausting, resource depleting process, and the gift at the end was worth every tear shed and dollar spent. I can now define myself by my core character traits and values instead of my accomplishments. Who I am -- who any of us really is -- is unconditional, and does not depend on our environment, the condition of our physical bodies or who we choose as friends, lovers or co-workers.

       I never imagined it would take me almost 40 years to recover from my childhood career choice "mistake" and begin to uncover my real self. Yes, I was disappointed to find out how many people I'd previously categorized as "friends" decided that I no longer had any value to them without an impressive job title. On the other hand, I was also thrilled to discover, how many people can see who I am, and love and support me not for what I can do for them, but for who I am.

      Given how morally superficial and achievement-oriented our culture has become, I should have anticipated how very difficult it is for Americans to let someone "throw away" a medical degree! Okay, I'm not really throwing it away -- it is the knowledge I gained in medical school that has allowed me to understand the intimate cause-and-effect relationship between emotional happiness and physical health, and it also helps me keep other people safe from the "diet pill" and holistic health fraud that is allowed to run rampant in this country. Fortunately, for every fifty people who tried to force me back into some form of health regulation, administration or healthcare, there was at least one who understood the difference between having a medical education and being a doctor. I am very grateful to those enlightened people for not believing that I should be kept in an emotional and psychological prison for life because I made a snow--balling error in judgement when I was only six years old. These kind souls helped me finally escape my personal version of hell. So many people have helped me identify how and why I got so stuck, and provided me with tools to get "unstuck". I remain grateful for their unconditional love and support, and now want to pass the tools on to you, and teach you how to effectively use them.

       First and foremost, I am an intuitive. Second, I am a creative artist. Third, I am a pioneer and catalyst, who loves helping people take the road less traveled -- first inward, then upward and outward. After all, according to all religious traditions, going Inward is what allows us to successfully go upward and outward.

       I share many traits with those who complete medical school with honors. However, I am a healer, not a physician. My greatest gifts are in the realm that medicine lost when Descartes made his deal with the Church. I focus solely on self-worth and personal growth. I work with dis-ease, not disease, and prescribe meditation, not medication. Honesty is my only laser, and love my only scalpel. Like Michelangelo carving David, I use my artistic skill and tools to help people carve away the parts that do not belong to the masterpiece that they are, and have always been, now and forever. For more information on my cornerstone philosophies, visit Shared Paths.

       I created these pages both to express who I am, and to help you discover your true self, too. Do you know who you are?




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