Dominant Extroverted Feeling
Evaluating Importance and Conformity
Considering Needs / Wants of Others
ENFJ & ESFJ
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"How can I use this to help someone else?" Fe types are directed by the wishes and expectations of others. They are friendly and avoid conflicts, the ultimate example of social graces. They keep in touch, and laugh at your jokes. They schedule relaxation because they need order before they can relax. Fe types can actually relax by doing chores, because knowing they are done is great stress relief. Fe types enjoy the conventional, and enjoy fitting in. Fe types adapt to the situation, rather than changing it, and generally follow instructions. |
Extroverted Feelers spend their time and energy in consideration of others, so they can respond to their wants and needs. They thrive on understanding and knowing people on a personal level, so they can refer them, connect them, encourage them, provide for them - through their own abilities and resources or by connecting them to a member of their impressive social network of acquaintances. This social network is often catelogued in their minds and/or stored in actual data files by how these people can be of service to each other. These are the personality types that is referred to as Connectors in the book "The Tipping Point"1.
They are responsible in large part for weaving together our social fabric, as well as repairing the holes. They add warmth, diffuse conflict, gather in the lost sheep, make the misfit fit. What makes them happy, is making the people around them happy. Always on your side, seeing the best in you, reminding you of what a wondrous human being you are -- and even when you know they are this way with everyone, somehow when they do this for you, it still feels personal, special, just for you. They are the "wind beneath your wings," helping you soar to greater heights. Their encouragement and support is constructive -- action-oriented, they aren't just standing on the sidelines cheering; rather, they are in the game with you. Naturally organized and list makers, they pay attention to what has been done, is being done, still needs to be done, and jump in to help or bring others in to help.
They see their task as both the individual and the group, so make good Captains and Project Leaders in environments that function around shared values, even if those shared values are not their natural perspective. They are able to adapt and adopt to a wide variety of values and goals because they love to belong to the greater group, and promote harmony within it. They have a sixth sense, and can often head off conflict or trouble, diffuse a potentially volatile situation, before it actually hits or strikes with full force. Often, they feel as if it is their responsibility to take care of others' feelings, and sometimes lose the boundary between self and others.
Fe are emotionally expressive on both ends of the spectrum -- they are as likely to express humor and warmth as disappointment or anger, but do so using their well developed social skills of politeness, kindness, friendliness, consideration, and social appropriateness discernment, so almost always seem gracious when doing so.
1 Gladwell M. The Tipping Point. Little Brown, 2000.
